Landed in Denpasar, Bali, on a Monday.

Familiar. I’ve been here before - cafes, resorts, beaches, and weddings, right? I managed to breeze through customs despite Bali hosting G20 this week, hopped into a Grab, and made my way to Canggu (60 minutes out from the airport in a car)

I’m here to spend a week with Geoff Ang in a redux of Raw 2.0 (Geoff’s mentorship program). Been feeling mired in a creative bog when it came to portrait photography; maybe Geoff can help. Saw on Instagram that he just launched Balism Stills & Motion just over a month ago to great fanfare and excitement. I do not know what to expect. Not really.

Nervous - always known that Geoff’s a pretty well-known name and while he’s always been a mentor after I signed up to get mentored by him in Raw 2.0 sometime in 2020, this was much more than that. I was not going to have a few 2-3 hour sessions with him, but I would be spending almost every waking hour with Geoff for an entire week. Myers Briggs scored me as a 100% introvert. I’m not used to being around people for long stretches, for so long (I’m better for short social sprints).

I pull my luggage out of the car (minimal gear since Geoff has all the best toys in his studio, Balism), and send a tentative ping on Whatsapp. Geoff bounds out of a door in a comfortably seasoned tee shirt, shorts, and flip-flops and waves me over. Okay, this is promising.

In the ensuing 6 days, I’ve been challenged, pushed to new limits, and forced to confront personal challenges and insecurities as a photographer and as a person; I somehow made it through the intense week feeling like a new photographer, artist, and person. I have an unusual learning style - I don’t learn in a gradual X-Y slope; rather, I learn in a step function and so when I make a step up, it’s a jump. I feel like I’ve sprinted up a flight of steps this week.

Compelled to document this special week. Next thought to follow - I should share it in the hopes that it can help other photographers in some small way.

Day 1

It’s raining. Monsoon season in Bali. We sit at a big beautiful wood dining table with the rain pattering gently outside and we start with a conversation. Geoff quizzes me on my motivations as a portrait photographer, and where I want to go. I’m given the chance to articulate my frustrations and share a mood board of portraits from photographers I admire and hope to borrow elements from as I evolve my style. Geoff listens quietly before he lays out the plan for the week. He’s going to spend the first part of the week observing how I work and breaking me down (uh, literally) before segueing to focus on building new skills and habits. No pressure. I appreciate that he does not try to impose his sensibilities or visual style on me, but offers the means to take my own path further.

We take this to a trendy cafe near his home. I have my first meal (chicken stroganoff and strong black coffee) for this trip to Bali (Torst) while overlooking a paddy field that curves downwards and away into a gorgeous vista of clouds (I sometimes forget how beautiful an expanse of clouds can be living in Singapore). Geoff shares his journey to Bali, what he’s building and why. I remember him speaking of this move some years back, but it’s really happened. The mood is hopeful and light; but then again, we’ve not really started n earnest yet.

Back home and it’s time to plan for the week - arranging for talents to sit for their portraits and logistics. I pull out a recent set of images I shot in Studio 2020 and he pulls out his Tangent Wave 2 (for the uninitiated, this is a device that looks like a DJ console which is used to edit and grade RAW images in Capture One) and Geoff starts flexing his post-skills. I’ve seen him do this before, but this time he pushes it all the way through for several images that I recently made. A light goes off. I climb a “step”. I don’t push my edits or color-grading enough. Partly because it’s “safe”, but also because I didn’t know that it was possible to so significantly elevate an image in the directions and distances that he shared. I also tend to gravitate to a few favorite adjustments, but with the Tangent interface, it feels natural to use more of Capture One’s capabilities. Geoff demonstrates how to push one image a few different ways, and how to finish retouching and editing/grading in Photoshop. He asks why I like to edit the way I do (e.g. why I like bringing all the highlights back) and suggests that I be more thoughtful and less heavy-handed in my editing. He leaves me to continue on my own. I call it a night at 1 AM after a few more hours of re-grading and re-editing my own images. I want to internalize this so I don’t drift back to my default grading setpoint. Need to get my own Tangent Wave 2. Fall asleep anticipating the rest of the week.

Day 2

Early start - alarm goes off at 5.30 AM as it always does. I spend an hour doing more grading and edits in Capture One and Photoshop. Then it’s off to breakfast. Geoff advertises that we’re having the best scramble in Bali (Baked.). Delivers in spades. I take mine with chorizo sausage; Geoff swaps his sourdough for a croissant. Admire how different the light and everything looks in Bali (everything is Instagram-worthy). We discuss my assignment today - I am going to shoot Geoff and his small team in his studio to get warmed up and let Geoff observe me shoot.

First look at Balism. Elegant concrete grey building and dark burnished metal. Reminds me of Raw studio in Singapore and Geoff’s home. It’s spacious, sensibly designed, well-organized, and stocked with lots of equipment that any photographer would need or want. Gaped for a bit like a fish out of water at the high ceiling (you can control the height to manage the bounce) and the double cyclo. Comfortable mezzanine designated for models and talents to change and chill out in. Lounge on the top floor is photogenic in its own right with spacious glass windows and tasteful furniture. No clutter anywhere. Everything is new and shines.

First meet with Team Balism. Iqbal is an imposing but gentle and smiley gentleman whom I learn is Geoff’s partner, and a commercial photographer. Halim is a young and soft-spoken but attentive gentleman whom I learn is the studio’s photography assistant. Geoff cuts me loose to shoot. I opt for a simple portrait against a white background that would look good both in color and black and white. I direct my team and we start shooting. I love the tether cart and the immense utility it brings. I shoot and grade as I go. I notice Geoff making mental notes and I sweat a little.

I shoot for 30 minutes before Geoff calls for a break and pulls me to a corner to debrief. He’s never been one to mince his words, so I get a complete download of his observations on where I can improve. It’s so direct and honest that it’s hard to hear. But everything is constructive. Geoff frames each of his points not as an insurmountable weakness but as an opportunity to improve. I frantically scribble into my red notebook. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. But this is good. Keep going. Get the images I want - wrap the mini-shoot.

Lunch break. Burgers. I barely taste it. My mind’s on the shoot and the feedback. We head back in and break out RGB tube lights and Aputure lights. We pull out diffusers, reflectors, scrims and C-stands. At some point, the boom comes into play. It’s just lots of fun now. We experiment with shutter-drag, continuous Aputure lights, and RGB tube lights. I have an SD card full of images and a mind brimming with new ideas. I’m excited to apply my newfound editing approach to Raw files, but that will have to wait.

Geoff has a guest photographer coming in to give a talk. We pack up the space and I help set up the space. The crowd trickles in. Many are photogenic young people clutching professional cameras and sport little totems from Bali - cloth bracelets and comfortable worn clothing. Vitaly (@dzziuu) is a fresh-faced young photographer in a chic sweater with an excellent grasp of color and grading. Geoff and Vitaly kick off the sharing perched on comfortable director chairs. Vitaly picks up the camera mid-way for a demonstration where he shoots a model that he’s brought along. The audience gets onto its feet and starts walking around as he shoots and Geoff assists in the demo. Talk ends and Geoff takes a moment to get to meet all the participants. I speak with several photographers and spend a few moments chatting with Iqbal and Halim. Back home for more editing until I fall asleep. Late.

Day 3

I said I wanted to people-watch today. We go to trendy Crate in Canggu for breakfast after a quick spin and tour around Canggu. Traipsed the well-known shortcut that is a steep dip down a hill followed by a climb. Whiz by tantalizingly photogenic cafes. Geoff points a few well-known ones out and I make mental bookmarks for when I have time to explore. Many parts of Bali are gentrified and kind of feels like a massive Tiong Bahru. Crate is packed with good-looking tourists. I wait for a table and contemplate that putting a tissue packet to chope here would be laughed at. We share a table with a young shirtless man who is bleeding out (okay, I exaggerate). He was in a motorcycle accident 15 minutes ago and is now casually having his breakfast. He observes my photography talk with Geoff with intense interest. I notice that the tables are hollow and anyone can chuck anything in there. I see IDs, love notes, cash, and polaroids. The meal is slow but is really large when it arrives. Tasty and good value. We have to scarf it down today because we have shoots coming up.

Today we are working on using strobes outdoors - I’ve struggled to blend strobes with ambient light in a natural way. The model is Che - someone I’ve met before on a previous trip. She has been baked to a rich tone of brown and hazelnut from surfing almost daily for 11 years. We keep it simple. One light on an umbrella and we head into the greenery near the studio and find a photogenic abandoned hut. I take a few snaps and go “yuck”. Geoff thinks some of the shots are good - keep going. Realized that I’ve perhaps not really stretched the limits of my post-processing enough to know what is good enough and what needs to be refined. Intensely curious how they will turn out after grading and editing. I shoot and chat with Che right up till it starts to rain and we run back to the studio. I say goodbye to Che - it’s so good to see her again. Drizzling. We may have to cancel the planned beach shoot.

Beach shoot next. Yulia is a retoucher and sometimes-model from Russia. I ask if I may examine her face before the shoot and she cheerfully says yes. She has startlingly pale and clear blue eyes. Feel a bit poleaxed gazing into them. We head to the beach - my first beach shoot (Singapore beaches are not as exciting to shoot, perhaps). Halim and Glenn tagged along to assist (bless them both). This beach is known for its black sand and textured stone cliffs. The rainy season makes it damp but also challenging because there’s more trash washed up on the beach. Set up one light and I’m off. Twist in a 70-200mm zoom lens. Always been a prime lens purist but will try zoom out after so many years (Geoff scoffs at my prime lens snobbery). Silver-lining to the dreary weather is that it’s easier to use flash with the soft evening light. That said, light is falling fast. Have to work faster.

Yulia is not a full-time model, but she knows her angles and she works with me to create an amazing set of opening images. Geoff helps make small adjustments and calls out advice. Appreciate that he gives me space to shoot. We make our way down the coast and I notice a small alcove which gives me a tasty idea. I switch to natural light for a moment. He then asks the team to get the RGB tubes and exhorts me not to be afraid of bold colors, and promises to demonstrate how embracing this can be amazing. Intrigued. We shoot till the light fails and we duck into the alcove I saw for a final set of amazing shots. Sandy, salty, wet but happy. Lots of potential in this set. We walk back to the car in the dark. Yulia, Geoff, and I have a good conversation on the ride back to the studio.

Day 4

Woke up looking this way. Would like to think that I’ve exceeded Geoff’s expectations for what I am capable of cramming in the last few days. Mia the over-friendly and mischievous/crafty dog harasses me as she always does when I wake up. Mia can chase my laster pointer endlessly. Much amused.

2 shoots in Balism studio today. Geoff and I opt to skip breakfast and head in to set up. Mici arrives. I found her on IG in my earlier search for potential models/subjects. Mici rocks up in boots and a fitting grey tank top and denim shorts and a genuine smile and a warm hug. I like her instantly. Her rusty-pink hair offsets her rich, dark coffee-toned tan skin, and she has tasteful tattoos scattered around her person. They all look significant. She is a gamer chick who creates content on Twitch and also writes on her Patreon account (devastatingly raw stuff - she sent me a few pieces).

“Where do you want to go today?” Geoff asks. I decide that I want to try a lighting setup Vitaly used in his demo two nights before. I’m trying to apply all of Geoff’s feedback from before. Be more mindful and deliberate. Take my time. Frame more carefully. Iterate and build. I shoot few images (far fewer than I usually do), but they always build on one another technically. I’ve always been heavy-handed with my shooting because I am laser-focused on capturing elusive emotion and personality that can be there in one frame, gone the next. In my pursuit of this, I often let everything else fall away (e.g. details like distracting creases on my subject’s clothes, stray strands of hair, etc.). I now realize being more mindful can elevate a portrait to new levels. Mici alternates between gazing intensely into the camera and flouncing around on light feet. The pictures are gorgeous, but can’t be distracted by that. Need to focus on learning rather than creating portfolio images. We take a short coffee break in between (Mici, like me, is also powered by coffee). Iqbal is fascinated with her vocabulary and asks what “slayyyyyyy!” means; Mici obliges with a tutorial. I manage to experiment with two other lighting setups before we run out of time and the next talent arrives. I say goodbye to Mici and thank her.

Yelena is next. She’s from Kazakhstan and is tall, svelte, cerebral, and elegant. She’s brought her favorite things to wear (I always ask my subjects to bring something they are comfortable in and is authentically them, but when it comes to models they can say that for almost anything they put on). Yelena has a gentle energy about her. Obviously an experienced and talented model. She’s also brought her chess set - she is a ranked chess player (she plays almost daily). She’s excited as I am about having a portrait that expresses something personal about her. I select a new style from my mood board and fall into a comfortable cadence with Halim to get it set up. Geoff lets me do my thing as I direct the setup and start to shoot. This is the first shoot he completely steps away to give me my space but walks on set 2-3 times when I wanted to get advice. I fall into a comfortable shooting rhythm while staying mindful of new habits to keep.

It’s a wrap. Yelena bugs out. Halim and I jump in for a few shots of each other before we tear the setup down and put everything away. Halim slips into the denim jacket that has become synonymous with me for his portrait. Graded his portrait a bit cooler while I pushed mine to green for taste. Feeling a lot more confident and creative in the studio now. My strength has always been natural light and I’ve been getting better in the studio, but I now feel equipped to grow in both disciplines. Geoff checks in on how I’m feeling - I report that I’m having so much fun. He smiles and walks off.

Sushi dinner at TYGR Sushi with Geoff and his beautiful family.

Day 5

No shoots today. Banana bread at breakfast blows my mind. It comes with a dollop of some insane butter that complements the taste of the bread. It’s gone in 3 bites. Later, back home, Geoff plugs in his Tangent Wave 2 and we get to post/editing. I realized that I can change more than one thing at a time, unlike working with a mouse. I start having favorite combinations to move in tandem. Spend some time culling and selecting images. We go through that. Select a few choice images and we start editing them together. We go through my website. He is ruthless in culling images that he thinks don’t make the cut. I wince as he deletes portraits and work that I like. Geoff concedes that I can put it back if I revisit and re-grade and re-edit the image. We also spent time talking about the business of photography.

Mutual deliberation on what to have for lunch. Geoff snaps his fingers and orders satay. Best. Satay. Ever. I eat every last stick and morsel and make loud appreciative noises. Send a picture of lunch to Mom who gets immediate FOMO. I take some time out for a bit of rest. For dinner, we decide on Korean food - a hole-in-the-wall diner with a cheerful neon light lighting the place up. Geoff and I speak of things beyond photography in earnest for the first time since I’ve arrived over hot soup, japchae, and a kimchi pancake. It’s unusual to see the human side of Geoff. He’s always so controlled and confident in his element. I express my appreciation for his generosity in the way that he teaches and shares so openly. I sense that the tone of the trip changed here as we sip our drinks in companionable silence. We finish our soju and call it a night.

Day 6

Last day, last shoot. We go to a different satay place before the shoot. It’s an unassuming warung. A different style of satay, but again devastatingly tasty. One comes with a jelly-like sauce that tastes amazing. The other is bathed in a puddle of appetizing chilli. Bowl of clear pork soup. White rice drizzled with kecap manis. The soup surprises me with how delicious it is. I finish that first (and later finish the rest of Geoff’s). I’m not even bashful or paiseh when I raid his bowl.

Different approach today. Geoff is going to show me how he shoots so that I can observe. We’re stretching what we can do with just one light. I step back and observe. Geoff is decisive and clear in instructing Halim to set up exactly what he wants. Nindya arrives in a leather jacket and boots. Geoff greets her softly and starts to brief her. Not everything is new to me - I remember snippets from the earlier Raw 2.0 and some of his workshops. That said, actually watching Geoff work helped me appreciate so many dimensions of how portrait photographers can build mutual trust with the subject and unlock their fullest potential. I note how even the small things he does helps establish his own credibility and what’s expected of Nindya. I see her responding not just to his calming demeanor, but also to his authority. I observe her excitement as he shows edits to her and invites her to create more great images with him. Geoff uses all kinds of everyday things as light modifiers, even a few strips of tape and yet everything looks great.

I’m not certain how he was as a younger man, but I find myself thinking that Geoff is a complete photographer - a consummate creator/artist, statesman, and businessperson.

Katya, Geoff’s kind and lovely wife, then comes to the studio after we put everything away. She is a breathwork instructor and she was really kind in offering to lead a few of us in a breathwork exercise. Excited. I do yoga and meditate, but I have not tried breathing work. Interesting experience; breathing mindfully is hard. Experienced new emotions and physical sensations. Surfaced from the experienced feeling calm. We sip hot tea from disposable cups and share our experiences. Each of us ends the practice by saying a word out loud. “Centered” comes to mind, but I go with “hopeful”. My mind has been running non-stop at a frenetic pace all week; finally, a chance to completely defragment my mind and slow it down.

Adjourned for dinner with the Balism team at a local Indonesian place Geoff and I found on an earlier night. Everyone’s famished after the breathwork. We eat with gusto, sip beer, and share stories. I know everyone here now. I feel real affection for these people. A band starts to play Indonesian romance ballads but switches to English songs to our delight after a while. By this point, we’re slightly tipsy and probably louder than we should be, but everything’s great.

I bid Iqbal, his wife Bonita, and Halim goodbye and assured them that I would be back soon. I give Halim a pat on his shoulder and encourage him to work hard and start his career as a photographer. He smiles and gives me a quiet nod. Iqbal looms over me and smiles his smile.

Final chat with Geoff back home.

We recap the entire program and his key takeaways for me to work on. There is a finality to this that I don’t like. I am going to miss this. But there is also hope, vibrance, and brightness. For the first time in my life, I feel like I have everything I need to grow in any direction I want. I know that some of the insights I’ve found here on this trip extend beyond photography. I thank him sincerely. While Geoff has been a mentor to me for some time now, I tell him that this is the first time I feel like he is a friend. Photography can sometimes be a lonely endeavor and as Geoff says, some behaviors come with the territory. It is wonderful to have someone I can speak with openly about photography. I insist that he call on me if I can ever be helpful to him in any way. We end the night on a quiet and thoughtful note. I sit alone around his family’s home and take it all in.

I head out the next morning. I say a heartfelt goodbye to Katya and embrace both of them. Geoff smiles at me as I look back one more time. I know he dislikes anyone taking photos of him without his permission (I understand that). I pause in that moment to content myself by taking a mental picture before I jump into my Grab. His eyes are crinkled in a way that I have learned in my study of human faces as a complete and uncomplicated joy for having shared this experience together.

I joked with Geoff that first day in Torst (the cafe) that this was my version of “Eat, Pray, Love”, referencing that famous book and movie. It seems that I got exactly a photographer’s edition of this - “Eat, Pray, Shoot”.

I’m looking forward to applying all my newfound skills in creating and delivering even more refined and awesome portraits for my clients and in my personal work.

I’m also putting time aside to slowly work through grading and retouching/editing my treasure trove of images from Bali - I’ll be posting them in the coming days/weeks. I hope you enjoyed reading this and the images to come!

Caveat: While this is not a sponsored post, it is by no means unbiased. I wrote it to remember my experience here with Geoff, and hope that this post helps him, his tribe/family, and Balism; if nothing else, to increase awareness of this special thing happening here in Bali. If you’re ever in Bali, I do encourage you to check Balism out and say hello to Geoff and maybe attend one of his workshops / events.

And maybe if you’re thinking of experiencing something similar, have a chat with Geoff.

Another note: this week represented an investment for me. I think we can all appreciate that our personal time is finite, limited, and valuable. I invested not just my time, but in fees to rent and use the studio and equipment (appreciative of Geoff who extended a special rate to me), models, and a token to Geoff for his time. I recall thinking that the token sum that I shared with Geoff in the first iteration was too little given the amount of time and care he invested in guiding me (I benchmarked this with my hourly rates as a photographer and it was obvious that I was so lucky to have his time). I value education, and I value educators like Geoff. I also do feel that my investment has helped me appreciate my insights more, and motivates me to make full use of the experience.